My office is on a pod and I share a wall with one of the showers. There are advantages and disadvantages of being officed here--Advantage: I have quick access to the kids and they have quick access to me; Disadvantage: I have quick access to the kids and they have quick access to me.
My primary duty as a case manager in this particular facility is to dial the phone [I assist/supervise them in using the phone to contact their attorneys, case workers, POs, etc.]--ya, a monkey could do it. BUT, I try to be a little more caring than the common monkey. I spend time with my kids and I care about them. If they need me, I am there. My other and most loved function is as the GED teacher. I carried this duty over from my last position--Activity/Programming Coordinator. It was my prerequisite for taking this job. I started the class and I wasn't giving it up. At one point, I had to fight for it--but I won........but that is a whole other story.
Why blog? I decided to start this blog as a coping mechanism. I love my job. I want to be home with my biological children as a full-time mom. We can't financially afford for me to quit. I am not sure I could mentally give up my job. I didn't think I would ever want to be a SAHM, but now I want to soooo bad. I began working when our oldest was five months old. I would have been working sooner, but it was a bad delivery and frankly, there were no jobs. I went out on maternity leave 2 weeks before I had our second daughter (yes, we have ALL girls--no wonder I refuse to work with girls and insist on keeping my boys at work). I went out 2 weeks prior because I went into labor at work at 31 weeks and I was put on bedrest. I managed to stay pregnant for two more weeks before delivering. She was in the hospital two weeks then I was home with her for 4 weeks. I was fine going back to work. With #3, it was different. I went to 30 hours/week at 34 weeks. I had been contracting since 18 weeks. At 36 weeks, I went into labor while at work. I delivered and she was in the NICU for two weeks. I was able to stay out another 9 weeks after she came home. It killed me to go back to work. I was crying just as much as my 2 year old who crawled back to the car from the sitters porch as I got her sisters inside. I have been back for almost 5 months and I no longer cry on the way to work or throughout the day, but I still would really like to be home with my girls. At the same time, I love working with my boys. I love working with them so much that I tend to get too attached, especially my GED kids. I cry when they leave (I try not to do so in front of anyone). I miss them when they are gone. I need a way to deal with it, so hopefully this is it. When most people see one of "my" kids, they see a criminal. When I see them, I see children who made mistakes. Children who can be rehabilitated. Children I can help. Children who have a hope. Children who have a future. My husband is one of those who sees a criminal, so he cannot be my outlet. I try to separate work and family, so I don't really socialize with coworkers, so they cannot be my outlet. You are my outlet.
My goal--to positively affect the life of one juvenile. To have one youth come back and say "thank you." It is my theory that if you reach one youth, you have done your job. BTW, we cannot have contact with the kids once they leave. I do things by the book, so I don't seek or ask for contact, no matter how much I may want to. No matter how great my desire to know that they are okay once they are out of my sight. No matter how great my desire to know that they are still alive.
God Bless You
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